No Place for Gloom – Still Here, Still I Love You

Hello hello hello!

I am still here, praying, holding space, loving, listening and discerning.

Sensitivity has been high this week and tears have followed and almost like a sense of unsettleness but I also felt it wasn’t coming from me, so I keep the Hail Mary going, while I’m with my kids, on the bus, at the store, I’ll jump out of it and it’s back on. Like the stream is constantly happening and then I just catch it again, all by his grace.

Like He showed me the other day while I was driving at work, the radio was on with a noisy song not much of my liking and as I was configuring the bluetooth to play another song both were playing at the same time, I could hear the old noise, I didn’t want to listen too and also the new tune, more uplifting, lighter, brigther but both were playing in the Silence. I could choose, ”apparently“, because He was already (t)Here in The Silence, nudging me to Feel Joy, to listen to cheerFULL melodies because that’s how we come out of the way and into His, into Him, already knowing we’re in Him.

I felt something lift today, during a moment at Holy Mass today, it was just love streaming out and tears of love running its course, I was totally detached. He was crying through me and I don’t recall if it was before or after that moment but this little handwritten note fell out my psalm book:

“Our Saviour is born today. Let us be glad! There is no place for gloom on the birthday of the Saviour.”

I keep coming back to this: Joy is His way. The Joy of His Presence is His will, and it is through Him, through Joy, through His Joy in the gift He has already given us, that all is healed, all are healed, all are saved.

Not through desperation or sadness, not through our grand gestures or our great accomplishments, but through His Joy and His humble, gentle gaze, constantly (t)Here, looking and asking without questions:

Will you let Me love you this time again?
Will you let My Love through this time again?
Can you let My Love be enough this time again?

Just one more time, and like this it goes ON, IN You as YOU.

Ps! On another note, Here are some pics of my playful daugther that is literally in her phase of standing in front of people, looking at them and just saying Hello and asking 1000 questions! Spreading her ligth and kindness.

We worked hard on getting her back into taking elevators again, after she was afraid because of our previous little incident where her fingers got stucked. But God is good, today she smiled at me holding my hand, mum let’s take the elevator. (We’re on our way to heaven, my adding.)

This is waaay past my bedtime again! GoOD Nigth!

I Love You,

Pati x.