You Are Going to die in the ocean… Of Love

Hello, friend!

How are you doing? Or how are you Being?

Love wanted to write and share something on this worldwide web, in the hope that it reaches that part of you that still holds its breath, thinking things might get worse, that you’re close to losing hope or yourself.

When I grew up, I always carried this sensation that something was wrong. Something was missing. It felt like I was trapped, and that the meaning of life was to find a way out.

I started reading self-help books when I was in my late teens, and I always carried these questions:

Love should not feel like this.

I don’t feel like this is love at all.

How can I love myself better?

What is the meaning of life if I feel trapped in it?

Maybe the meaning was to get out of it?

I don’t remember exactly when I heard a voice from within, almost as if it were speaking directly to my soul.

It said:

You’re going to die in the ocean.

But it wasn’t accompanied by fear. It was just a simple knowing.

And I thought, Well, I have to die of something, so that sounds pretty decent, because I’ve always loved the water. As a child, I would always go swimming with my sister and my dad. We grew up by the sea, and there I always felt like a fish in the ocean, but never quite in “the world.”

Once, when I was on a catamaran sailing, I thought I was going to drown as I got stuck under water wile the boat tipped over.

But that wasn’t my time lol. That was always what the thoughts seemed to tell me: Nope. This is not the time.

Then, some years later, as I’ve shared in a post on my Instagram before, I was saying my goodbyes to my sister while learning to surf in the Atlantic Ocean when someone rescued me again?

And last year, the words my soul had been communicating with me for around two decades started to make sense.

You are going to die in the ocean… of Love.

And to this day, I still think about it, and it draws a smile onto my face.

Because that voice was right.

It was calm. It was kind. It wasn’t worried about the waters to come.

So all the searching, the trying to get out of this Life, trying to find the meaning of it, trying to learn how to love myself better, maybe it did some good.

Because Love feels like home.

Love feels very good.

Love feels safe.

And it feels like nothing else needs to be added or taken away from that equation, because nothing else matters if Love is not (t)Here.

Love is the only thing that matters.

And it is all matter, too.

Keep reaching for it, even if it’s a tiny, tiny, tiny bit.

And if you say, “But I can’t feel even a tiny bit of the Love you describe,” then that, too, is only a thought seen from Love.

Here I am, years later, still reflecting on what the meaning of life is and it is to die in the ocean of Love because that IS Life.

When we Love every moments becomes beautiful, like yesterday waiting for our bus with my kids and my daughter wanted to go say hi to a man we had met in the elevator while commuting some couple of days before.

He was sitting in a wheelchair.

I’m terrible with names, so I have forgotten his, but I remember it started with F. He was from Eritrea and had been living here for seven years. Something had happened to him when he was a child, but we couldn’t speak the same language, so we couldn’t speak but we just smiled and shared Love with each other.

And that was one of the best moments of my day.

Let’s pray for him, too.

And let us never forget that in the end, in the beginning, and in the middle, all that really matters is LOVE.

I Love You.

Many waters cannot quench the flame of love, neither can the floods drown it. If a man tried to buy it with everything he owned, he couldn’t do it.

Song of Solomon 8:7