You were never Lost in the seeking trying to be Found

What are you going to do with your life?

What are you going to be when you grow up and your real life starts?

These questions would be living rent free in my head growing up. Sometimes being asked by my parents, friends, myself, strangers. It didn’t matter the source they came from I never truly knew what to answer because I didn’t quite feel like there was something “to do” with life.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s beautiful to pursue our dreams, develop our gifts, build and go after what we love. That’s also an expression of counsciousness and it’s a beautiful drive that makes us move and create beauty all around us.

But what to do with the truthful answer to this question?

It can be asked with excitement, looking towards a future we hope will bring us something better, more happiness, more peace. And it can also pop up with worry behind it like, “Look how far behind you are with your life. Look at your failures”, xyc, the show goes on lol.

This was the one type that poped up in my field this morning and wanted to drift me away when I arrived at the lake where I enjoy walking, sitting, bird watching, contemplating.

And today, I started laughing as soon as it poped up, like:

Who am I who owns a life?

Does it mean there are different little lives being lived out there and I need to hurry up because I need to do something with the one separate life i’ve been given?

So I sat down at the lake, with a noisy outside background too. (I believe they were drilling for water, building a new home complex) and I just said inside:

SILENCE.

Not because I needed the noise to disappear, or because I needed the thoughts about what I am going to do with “my” life to go away.

Something deeper calling for Silence. For Him. For Rest.

For a moment, the drilling even stopped. The seeming world around me became quiet, and in that quiet place, I noticed something.

The question itself is just a thought.

What am I going to do with my life?

Who is the one asking?

Who is the doer behind all these actions?

And who am I to own a separate life? For myself?

How often do we pause long enough to truly look into the questions we are asking ourselves?

Maybe silence is not about making the world around us more quiet. Maybe it is about becoming still enough to listen to what is already here. To take a step back and become aware of the one who is aware.

This is the Silence I often share about, you can be in the most busiest street of the city but aware of His Silence. His peace.

And here is where Life slowly begins to reveal itself, not as something we have to figure out, but as something already unfolding.

Something beautiful that already IS.

The Life we call, mine, yours, etc. is not worried about tomorrow’s unfolding because it is happening NOW. It is expressing it’s Love NOW, and that includes you too. And it carries no ownership label to IT.

So next time the question arises, “What do you want me to do?” start by recognizing that question as only a thought. You are aware of it, so it can’t be you.

You are watching.

You are not the one, lost in the seeking, trying to be found.

You are not a question to be answered.

You are Life.

You are Love.

You are His answered prayer.

Already unfolding, so stop holding yourself back. There’s no wall behind you to lean your back against, nor a wall in front of you preventing you from apparently moving forward.

Remain Silent. Let Love. Let Life. Let Him.

I Love You.

That sticker on my phone says:

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Jeremiah 29:11

When everyone is trying to be something, be nothing. Range with emptiness. Human should be like a pot. As the pot is hold by its emptiness inside, human is hold by the awareness of his nothingness

~ Shams Tabrizi